So after a full 1 1/2 days of basically redoing everything from scratch, using VM Assistant (thanks fabiosun and genki84) over the Proxmox installer (latest BS), and running into almost every problem I had originally thought I solved, I now have BS4(?) running and booting purely on the NVME drive with no virtual disk, or EFI from proxmox.
Everything is running stable, except the WiFi from the Broadcom card, which I realized that it's actually not the card itself, but Big Sur. Apparently Big Sur bricked WiFi for a ton of BC cards.
Post Discussing Fixing the Kext Fix.
It also involves accessing the root volume, getting CSR disabled, and a lot more fun. I did all the steps for the fix, but it's still not working currently for me, but I'm using ethernet from the ethernet port, so I'm not stressed. All iServices work as well.
I personally would not recommend BS currently - it seems like with the new method of how they are handling root disk access, there's likely going to be a lot of future changes that may or may not break things.
My ethernet also kept reverting to a self-assigned nic, so it set things back a bit.
One of the early major roadblocks was actually taking a working VM that I had thought I had everything working through console, and then when passing back the GPU, it would not boot and was constantly stuck on [PCIE Passthrough] on the bootloader, and ultimately (half a day later), fixed it by having to blacklist amdgpu again - it would not boot past that no matter what I tried, and blacklisting was the last resort.
Currently not passing through the full USB port, but just USB devices (keyboard/mouse). Will likely pass it through later.
03:00 is GPU, 4a:00 is NVME, 4b:00 is Broadcom PCIe, 44:00 is Aq Ethernet
vm.conf
args: -device isa-applesmc,osk="**" -smbios type=2 -device usb-kbd,bus=ehci.0,port=2 -cpu host,+invtsc,vendor=GenuineIntel
balloon: 0
bios: ovmf
boot: c
bootdisk: virtio0
cores: 64
cpu: host
hookscript: local:snippets/reset-gpu.pl
hostpci0: 03:00,pcie=1,x-vga=1,romfile=vegafrontier.rom
hostpci1: 4a:00.0
hostpci2: 4b:00.0,pcie=1
hostpci3: 44:00.0,pcie=1
localtime: 1
machine: q35
memory: 49152
name: mac-x
numa: 1
ostype: other
scsihw: virtio-scsi-pci
smbios1:
sockets: 1
usb0: host=0461:4dd7
usb1: host=1d57:5280
usb2: host=05ac:828d
usb3: host=0a5c:4500
vga: none
vmgenid
blacklist.conf
blacklist snd_hda_codec_hdmi
blacklist snd_hda_intel
blacklist snd_hda_codec
blacklist snd_hda_core
# blacklist radeon
blacklist amdgpu
blacklist btusb
blacklist snd-usb-audio
blacklist bcma
blacklist xhci_hcd